Original Composition Date: Saturday, March 20, 2010
“Skin me a fur” he had said , “So’s I can keep me-self warm”.
“That would be just fine, if I could find ONE mammal on the god forsaken planet that HAD skin!” …and by that I meant something other than fish scale-like outer covering……
Y’ see, we have lots of water here, but no “dry land” to start with, so the head boss man’s request really was an impossible demand. Unless, we somehow got an old dried up, shriveled old thing from another planet, away from this “water quadrant” of submerged space that we lived in.
I’d like to see just how he could keep hiself warm with some old, remnant from the fur trade somewhere, And, on top of that, it would soon dissolve into the slightly acidic, viscous like substance that we all lived inside, here.
Should I mention that to him? It might just upset him further to have this impossible “Fur Skin” thing, not do for him what he greatly desired it for.
Where in this galaxy, did he get that darn idea from anyway. Mamals with fur got extincted millions of years ago . I’d have to time travel back a long way to find the furwater mamals that used to live here!
Keeping warm here is really not so difficult, if you’re young, and energetic. You just swim in circles, and figure eights, till you heat up the viscays all around you. When they have absorbed your energy. they form some lovely blue cells all around your body, and hug you tight. They really like it when you swim in circles and eights! And you get to be really warm!
It’s just lovely.
The problem for the “boss man” is that he don’t want to swim in circles and eights anymore! He thinks it’s just for teenagers! So he got cold, and on this planet, getting cold leads right away to freezing up. Once you froze up a few times, then you grow ice cells on top of your scales. Once you grow those, it’s real hard to swim around anymore.
I guess the solution would be to “crack up ” the ice cells, and then kind of molt them off! ….you know like birds do with their feathers, on the girdling air asteroids circling our planet? We have lots of feather fallout from those darn bird air asteroids! Maybe we could turn that stuff into a “Feather – fur” like skin, thing for him!
“What a great idea,” said hippo the mud slug, who happens to be my best friend. “It should also keep him warm” because those fallout feather moulted things get real itchy once they get stuck to you!”
“I bet you didn’t know that!” he eclaimed loud and excited-like. I’ve never seen him so enthused about anything.
“If the boss man gets itchy, he’ll have to swim in circles and eights just to get rid of the itches! Then he’ll get warm agin!” What do you thingk?” he asked the others who had been brought into this dilemna. I was hoping someone would have a brilliant “brainwave” and find us our “skin”
Unfortunately for hippo no-one agreed that his idea would really solve the problem. Someone needed to figure out how to stop, shave off or otherwise crack the ice cells off a him.
I looked at the time. The viscays were lining up outside our house, getting ready to be fed. Could I convince them to go get the ice cells off a the boss man instead? What would happen if they did? What would he look like when they were done with him? Were we playing with fire here?
Everyone else said we should nod this thing, and I ‘spect that it’s caus they don’t have any better idea.
So, here’s the grand plan, as it stands.
We’re going to turn him into a “mudpuppy” by surrounding ourselves around him and then swimming so fast the viscays “have” to come and get him. Then at the last minute were gonna streak straight outa there. The viscays won’t be able to follow us cause they can’t swim that fast. They’ll be stuck with filtering down through the blue goop slowly, and settling on the boss man. He won’t move cause he can’t, he’s so frozed up with crystals.
Then, we’ll see what turns up at the end of that process …….
We think the bossman will turn into a mud puppy, and then he’ll be just fine. Otherwise, the viscays will think we’re absolutely gone “nuts”, and turn the ice crystals dry on the boss man. He’ll be nice and warm for a few seconds, but then will be deceased on the bottom of the ocean. In other words, it’ll be “game over” for him.
At least he will have had his last wish granted. He’ll be nice a warmed up then, cause all he’ll be is “cracked mud”.
On this planet, you’ll be lucky if you get that much! It’s the darndt best way to go!